Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand

Touch. What’s the first thing you thought of when you read the word? Whether you’re a professional caregiver, looking after your elderly parents, or a Meals-on-Wheels volunteer, adding thoughtful touch when interacting with those suffering from Alzheimer’s/Dementia can make your moments more meaningful.

BUT…

Before you start doling out unsolicited bear hugs, be sure to read their personal warning signals. Yes, your body language is key to effective communication but even more important is what they're saying with theirs. If they pull back or look confused or seem uncomfortable, stand at a respectful distance and put your hands someplace where they can see both of them. It could be that they were not raised in a demonstrative family. 

Today’s seniors were not only influenced by the economic upheaval during The Great Depression, but they were also parented under the influence of “John B. Watson, one of the originators of the behaviorist school of psychology,(who) urged parents to maintain a physical boundary between themselves and their children… ‘Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit on your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say goodnight. Shake hands with them in the morning. Give them a pat on the head if they have made an extraordinarily good job on a difficult task.’”  Small wonder most of our seniors have never been big on physical affection.

In one of her research studies, “Tiffany Field, the head of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami’s Miller School of Medicine found that one group of elderly participants received regular, conversation-filled social visits while another received social visits that also included massage; the second group saw emotional and cognitive benefits over and above those of the first…Touch itself appears to stimulate our bodies to react in very specific ways. The right kind can lower blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels, stimulate the hippo-campus (an area of the brain that is central to memory), and drive the release of a host of hormones and neuro-peptides that have been linked to positive and uplifting emotions. The physical effects of touch are far-reaching.”

Source: https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/power-touch

Supporting them with a hand on the small of their back, a gentle touch on the arm, a rub on the shoulder, sitting by their side while looking out in the same direction (as opposed to face to face), are all non-threatening forms of physical touch. Commenting on a man's firm handshake can boost their ego as well as their immune system. Moisturizing their skin, combing their hair, tucking them in, a manicure, a foot soak, these are all, non-threatening forms of physical touch. An affirming facial expression combined with light conversation, and physical touch can help prevent feelings of embarrassment.

Good TIMING, an affirming TONE of voice, and non-threatening physical TOUCH (in that order) can pave the way for more meaningful visits with older friends and family.