They Call Me Mellow Yellow

How many of us needlessly toss and turn with strange bedfellows like Wondering, Waiting, and Worrying? Medical terminology, confusing lab results, and a plethora of medical websites can all be a blessing and/or a curse. Even if your doctor does have a brilliant mind and an uncanny ability to diagnose your ailments, she or he may not be the best communicator on the planet. And then again, maybe neither are you.

Want to avoid some needless worry? The next time you see your doctor, don't be afraid to ask questions. And keep asking until you fully understand what you've just heard. 

This week I found myself zooming down some highly polished hospital hallways, fearful of what I was going to find once I tracked down my friend Lucy. I stopped at the front desk to ask what room she was in and the guy mumbled three words that sounded like Critical Evaluation Wing to me. I could feel my anxiety level rise. "Critical!?" She seemed fine to me a couple of days ago…

Halting in my tracks, I was relieved to see “Clinical Evaluation Department” prominently spelled out on the wall above her room. I coached myself on my way into her room with thoughts like, “Ok, ok, take a deep breath, calm down, and remember to smile!”  

And there she was. Sitting on the edge of her bed, watching TV, swinging her legs, and eating gluten-free chicken fingers with the promise of a bowl full of yellow Jello for dessert. 

The song, “They Call Me Mellow Yellow…” began playing in my head. Seriously!

So yeah, even a trained facilitator can lose their composure -  ever so needlessly.  

Slaying Zhilaohu (AKA Paper Tigers)

Still in my pajamas and enjoying my second cup of coffee, a desperate phone call interrupted my day off. It was Ken. Calm, cool Ken. A guy so laid back, I often wondered if he was taking short naps in between sentences.

Ken is a member of the sandwich generation. He and his wife Anna are hard pressed between the needs of their kids, their grandkids, and their fiercely independent elderly parents; so I occasionally lend them a hand as an eldercare professional. Ken’s voice was shaking one particular day when he called for my help, “My dad has stage four kidney failure…this could be it…my mom wasn’t sure if it was stage four or three or…the doctor called and wants to see him right away…They’re probably going to admit him…” I reassured him that I’d meet his dad at the doctor’s office, I got dressed and quickly jumped into my car.

A short time later, I was listening to the nurse record his remarkably good vitals. Apparently all he needed was a vitamin B-12 shot. “That’s it? Are you sure? What about his kidney function?” I asked. It was fine for a man his age. Go figure. So, what the heck happened? I knew there had to be a health literacy teachable moment somewhere in the middle of all this and here’s what I found:

Ken’s mother read the lab test results that came in the mail the same day they called to schedule his B-12 shot. Did I mention that she suffers from macular degeneration? And that she’s legally blind? And that all she could really make out was the test key, which gave specific ranges for stage one right on through to stage five kidney failure. She never compared her husband’s actual reading to the key…which led to her hysterical call to Ken…which led to Ken’s frantic call to me... which led to ...well, you get the point! It was like playing Telephone Tag, with disastrous results.

This short but intense emotional upheaval could have been avoided and here’s how:

A simple medical release form would give their adult children access to their parent's test results, not only that, but a quick phone call to the Doctor’s office would have prevented it from getting out of hand.

If this kind of thing has ever happened to you and/or a loved one, you are not alone. According to the *Minnesota Health Literacy Partnership, “only 12% of literate Americans are proficient in understanding health information.” Twelve percent!

We can all promote better health through better communication. This short video clip sums up the benefits of finding a trained health literacy facilitator. I hope you enjoy watching! 

Use cntrl+click: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKodtW01RIY

*Source: https://healthliteracymn.org/health-literacy/why-health-literacy-matters

Reach Out and Touch Somebody's Hand

Touch. What’s the first thing you thought of when you read the word? Whether you’re a professional caregiver, looking after your elderly parents, or a Meals-on-Wheels volunteer, adding thoughtful touch when interacting with those suffering from Alzheimer’s/Dementia can make your moments more meaningful.

BUT…

Before you start doling out unsolicited bear hugs, be sure to read their personal warning signals. Yes, your body language is key to effective communication but even more important is what they're saying with theirs. If they pull back or look confused or seem uncomfortable, stand at a respectful distance and put your hands someplace where they can see both of them. It could be that they were not raised in a demonstrative family. 

Today’s seniors were not only influenced by the economic upheaval during The Great Depression, but they were also parented under the influence of “John B. Watson, one of the originators of the behaviorist school of psychology,(who) urged parents to maintain a physical boundary between themselves and their children… ‘Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit on your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say goodnight. Shake hands with them in the morning. Give them a pat on the head if they have made an extraordinarily good job on a difficult task.’”  Small wonder most of our seniors have never been big on physical affection.

In one of her research studies, “Tiffany Field, the head of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami’s Miller School of Medicine found that one group of elderly participants received regular, conversation-filled social visits while another received social visits that also included massage; the second group saw emotional and cognitive benefits over and above those of the first…Touch itself appears to stimulate our bodies to react in very specific ways. The right kind can lower blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol levels, stimulate the hippo-campus (an area of the brain that is central to memory), and drive the release of a host of hormones and neuro-peptides that have been linked to positive and uplifting emotions. The physical effects of touch are far-reaching.”

Source: https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/power-touch

Supporting them with a hand on the small of their back, a gentle touch on the arm, a rub on the shoulder, sitting by their side while looking out in the same direction (as opposed to face to face), are all non-threatening forms of physical touch. Commenting on a man's firm handshake can boost their ego as well as their immune system. Moisturizing their skin, combing their hair, tucking them in, a manicure, a foot soak, these are all, non-threatening forms of physical touch. An affirming facial expression combined with light conversation, and physical touch can help prevent feelings of embarrassment.

Good TIMING, an affirming TONE of voice, and non-threatening physical TOUCH (in that order) can pave the way for more meaningful visits with older friends and family.